Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
We were destined to go to rehab together
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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