If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
