ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize
