Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
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