...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
