ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Randomize
