Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
