Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Randomize
