dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
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