you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Randomize
