Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
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