im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Randomize