Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Randomize
