i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Randomize
