you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
should my penis look like a turkey
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I am mentally ready for anal.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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