i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
