he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
