STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
