lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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