You're completely useless in the revolution.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
