FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
