Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
