Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize