you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
