while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
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