i just wanna soil my oats bro
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
