So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
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