I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
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