We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize
