I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
