I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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