Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
