birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
