is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize