Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
