My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
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