I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Randomize
