Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Buhtt sex?
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Randomize
