i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
You can't motorboat a personality
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
