Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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