i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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