Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I think I sprained my soul last night
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
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