Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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