i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
