So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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