I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
