We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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