mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Randomize
