I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
birth control should be required to get into college
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
