Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Randomize
