I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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