I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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