If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
