i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Watching her eat just hurts me
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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