Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
