When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
