She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Randomize
