He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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