Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize
