do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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