yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
