Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
