I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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