i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
