you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Randomize
