In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
this hospital has no fireball
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
