Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I am mentally ready for anal.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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