We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
