Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Randomize
