The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
