i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
