I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
