You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
smell my finger.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
