what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Randomize
